Early Morning Rantings

Posted by special_child at 05:50 AM on November 4, 2005.

With a few winks of sleep and an almost-month-long deprivation of blogging, I decided to break my silence and spill the beans.

There isn't anything exciting about this post - well, I think. I just want to react on how I haven't been posting quite as often as I did. Better yet, how I haven't been posting quite as often as I wanted. It seems as though I'm holding back my thoughts inside my puny brain and I can't let it out. And now my mom's screaming at me, asking me to shut my eyes and doze off.

There are a lot of things (mind you, these were happy) that happened since the last time I typed something here. And I am thankful for the people who have been part of my happiness. If not for these activities my brain would be dead by Halloween. So again, thanks.

There isn't much difference between this post and the previous one; if there's a difference to it, it's just that I missed those things even more (God, what was I doing?). Personal dilemmas are now haunting me even further than how they did a few weeks back. What's on the line? Friendship. Trust. Two key factors that I (or even anyone) can't live without. :|

Somehow, even though hyperactivity meddles with my often-sentimental thinking, it's still not enough to remove me completely from the hustle and bustle of my life. I always complain about getting tired of my life, but it's what I'm living. I always shout at my mind telling it to stop jumping at conclusions, but it has already leapt. I always think about other people in relation with my life, and sometimes it puts a lot of weight.

I think I just have to engross myself in work. Or maybe I should just sleep. Right now. Sedate me from this world of intellect for a fraction of a day. Maybe my rantings would stop by then.


Blogger's Note: No Top Ten List for today. Sorry.


On a lighter note, my blog's turning 1 a week from now. Hooray!


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. Harry Potter's less than two weeks away!

Currently enjoying "Can U Help Me", performed by Usher.
Currently deciphering the Malate Literary Folio.
Currently checking "Magandang Umaga Pilipinas", shown on ABS-CBN.
Currently feeling uncomfortable.

4 kid/s drank Promil®

Sunday Showdown

Posted by special_child at 01:02 AM on November 8, 2005 as a favorite post.

Dance Maniax 2 had never been more exciting since Baila Baila lady hit the machine.

I spent the day with my mom at Glorietta (yes, Sunday is family day) and one vital part of it is going to Timezone, which I utterly missed since I wasn't able to join the G&W peeps just yesterday. So while I was waiting my turn by the counter, someone gives my right bicep (yes, bicep) a punch, and lo and behold Paul is there! I think he's with his brothers, who were also DM fans. Sadly, I was only informed of his second encounter of the "dementors" a few hours ago, so I didn't have the chance to ask how he was. So some chitchat here and there reveals that he didn't know I was from Main! Well there you go.

Before I left, there was a kid, age range 14 to 15, dressed in OK clothes, who was one of the early swipers (def. an early swiper is someone who's so excited to dance, he can't wait at the back and swipes his/her card right away) I've come across with that day. He actually danced Happy-hopper Wild ( Remember that Wild is more difficult than Mild) on his first stage, and *poof* the machine said, "Why don't you try again? GAME OVER!"

So after I and Paul's brothers danced, here he comes again swiping his card (he actually swiped his card while Paul's brothers were dancing) and gets his second shot at the game. Now... the showdown begins.

Showdown Contestant # 1:	"Little Boy Blue"
Repertoire:
All My Love	Wild
Heaven Is A '57 Metallic Gray	Wild
Baila! Baila!	Mild

Some comments: It was just ordinary, save for his start. He danced the intro part of All My Love facing the crowd (yes, the crowd, but since there was no crowd yet, he was facing me). But it was nothing compared to that Baila! Baila! rendition, where, unlike the Baila Baila lady who only used her hips, he used his hands while swaying his hips and protruding that a&$! Darn. I could imagine myself still chuckling at that sight.

Oh, and by the way, was I caring enough to tell you this is a long entry? One of the longest I've written, perhaps? Hmmm... back to the magic.

After his show ended and a crowd gathered by the machine's perimeter (yes, a crowd gathered, technically increasing traffic amongst the reloading line and the people entering Timezone), a seemingly teenage girl, age range 18 to early 20's, wearing a rather skimpy skirt and beaded blouse, who was also an early swiper, came in and took her turn to dance. Let's take her side of the show.

Showdown Contestant # 2:	"Palda Paldita"
Repertoire:
J-Summer	Wild
Quickening	Wild
Happy-Hopper	Wild

Some comments: I was surprised at how hyper this gal is. She was really ready for a showdown, I suppose. Her hips were way too bouncy throughout the three-stage ordeal, and her hands were all over. I think she did two turns while dancing. But considering that these were all full-star songs (def. a full-star song is considered the most difficult of all the Wild song selections for DM2; there are, I think, ten to fifteen full-star songs) and it's hard to get some choreography with it, it's a hands-down to her. I can do that someday. But why bother.

Unsurprisingly, after her dance, "Little Boy Blue" came back and danced yet again. This time, every song was also Wild. Let's see what he chose this time.

Showdown Repeat Performance:	"Little Boy Blue"
Repertoire:
Locomotion	Wild
All My Love	Wild
Heaven Is A '57 Metallic Gray	Wild

Some comments: It was just like the first time he danced. But before he went and danced his mom saw him, but it didn't matter 'coz he still danced that way. I'm seriously better in Locomotion, he repeated his performance in All My Love, and Heaven wasn't any different. But there was something shocking. By the end of Heaven, there was a slow part. And when he used his hips in toggling the blue markers, he also swayed his body. It made him look like an underaged macho dancer. Thank goodness there weren't any homos around, else...

And so ends the showdown. I'm too shy to dance again (hahaha), so I waved goodbye to Paul and proceeded down with my mother. But the story does not end there.

Recall: Last Monday, after my mom, grandfather, and I went to the cemetery, we went to ATC. While we passed by Bizu and bought some bread, I noticed Ryan Agoncillo with a girl who's not Juday (hahaha) in Seattle's Best. Of course, I told mom. She was half-joking as to why I recognize these people more than her, when she's supposed to be the guru. Along the way, I also pointed to her Eula Valdez (actress and mother) with her current husband, and Raul Daza (former congressman). And believe me, she was amazed.

Back to just a few hours before, I saw the following people before I got to leave Glorietta: Pat Hondrade (Citibanker who I met during my OJT; surprisingly, she is in Manila), Pranz Billones (with someone whose name I won't divulge), and Jet Trogo (while wondering where Lady Croft was). Talk about seeing people and not greeting them. Hahaha.

Oh, and by the way, was I caring enough to tell you this is a long entry? One of the longest I've written, perhaps? Hmmm... back to the magic.


Top Ten Songs I Like In Dance Maniax 2 (updated from a previous entry)

10. Tubthumping Eat You Up
9. Boys Heaven Is A '57 Metallic Gray
8. Boom Boom Dollar Get It All
7. Butterfly J-Summer (incidentally, the song represented by a Chinese or Japanese character)
6. Together Forever Quickening
5. Locomotion Keep It Going
4. (the song represented by a Chinese or Japanese character) All My Love
3. Happy-Hopper In My Dreams
2. Heaven Is A '57 Metallic Gray Baila! Baila!

-and... (drum roll please)-

1. Baila! Baila! Dynamite Rave


How's that for a long day?


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. I hope I can wake up early for my Chemistry class later.

Currently enjoying "Macy's Day Parade", performed by Green Day.
Currently deciphering a freeverse poem by one of my friends.
Currently checking "Shanghai Noon", the late-night movie shown on GMA 7.
Currently feeling amused.

2 kid/s drank Promil®

Cheers @ One!

Posted by special_child at 04:06 AM on November 13, 2005 as a favorite post.

Yes... this is the day!

Although my official join date is 11 November, my first entry was created on 13 November. So happy birthday to my blog!

I won't make this entry long, though. It feels like I have much to update, since it was almost a week since my last post. But just some of my thoughts were that: one, this blog needs a new design; two, I need a new theme, because I'm being drained of all Top Ten lists I know; and three, I might probably create entries in Filipino... during those days when you feel like you want to express yourself and you want more to understand what you are trying to say.

Anyways, I can't wait till Christmas! I can't wait to ship off my new playlists (yes, playlists; I'm giving two playlists this Christmas) and I can't wait to get the money to buy the materials for it! Let alone a place to burn, since my CD drive is not functioning properly. Tsk tsk tsk.


Top Ten Entries For My First Year In Tabulas

10. Greetings! (part 4)
9. Developments
8. I Can Make It Through The Rain...
7. What It Takes To Be A Celebrity
6. Read And Write
5. So Where Did I Get My Short Horns?
4. Two Episodes' Stint @ Pilipinas: Game KNB?
3. Rediscovery
2. Greetings! (part 2)

-and... (drum roll please)-

1. The Amazing Race 6.5


I hope I have more entries this following year!


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. Cheers to the coming Christmas season!

Currently enjoying "Here With Me", performed by Dido.
Currently deciphering my previous entries.
Currently checking "MTV Hits", shown on MTV.
Currently feeling deprived of sleeeeeep.

4 kid/s drank Promil®

Legendary Event/s

Posted by special_child at 12:30 AM on November 20, 2005 as a favorite post.

After typing for a long while, my computer hanged, so I have to do this all over again.

Anyways, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is the most anticipated movie of the year. After its being delayed for a year and with its main contenders The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars gone, it's time for the wizards and witches to shine once again! After seeing the trailers over and over again, I couldn't wait to watch the movie! It was not any different that we were two and a half days ahead of our Western counterparts, but I had no chance to grab this opportunity. And after being disappointed since premiere tickets were scarce, at last the opportunity presented itself yesterday.

Before we went to the movies, I want to share that our con-team won the debate yesterday in our computer ethics class! I was afraid that we'd lose since the pro-team (I give them due credit for making me afraid) had: a cool composure, a very intimidating opening statement, a fun conclusion, and preparations for the debate. But a few twists and turns on their main argument helped us win the debate. I would like to thank Ryan and Maris for doing an excellent job in thinking quickly and wisely. It was nice sharing a task with you guys.

Afterwards, we headed straight to Glorietta. I got our reservations and so we watched the movie. I recalled to myself the people I went with in watching the first three movies. In Sorcerer's Stone, I was with my high school barkada; in Chamber of Secrets with my blockmates; and in Prisoner of Azkaban with the GP gang and Mito. This time I was also with the GP gang and Mito, but we had new company in the likes of Luigi, Carmel, and Jaja.

It was a nice movie all in all; my main comment is that people just have to enjoy the scenes and not think too much about the plot in the book. It was really out of the original plot, but with the funny scenes and their meticulous detail, this movie is a winner. Even the people at the cinema who ogled at how Harry was in the bathtub would agree.


Top Ten Things I Liked From The Movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

10. the goblet and its fire
9. the three tasks
8. the homework club and how Snape dealt with Harry and Ron
7. Harry and Ron's struggle in finding partners
6. Cho Chang's Yule Ball dress (mind you... only the dress)
5. Ireland's mascot for the Quidditch World Cup
4. the tent and how Harry said, "I love magic!"
3. the desserts in the Great Hall during an announcement of Dumbledore's
2. the introduction of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang students

-and... (drum roll please)-

1. the Yule Ball and Hermione! (she looked SO beautiful, as like the book's description of her)


Well, everyone's waiting for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix; its script's not yet done.


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. And everyone's also waiting for Book 7!

Currently enjoying "Doesn't Really Matter", performed by Janet Jackson.
Currently deciphering "Like Water For Chocolate", written by Laura Esquivel.
Currently checking "Reel Deel: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", on Studio 23.
Currently feeling magical.

Drink Promil®!

Guilty!

Posted by special_child at 02:06 AM on November 22, 2005 as a favorite post.

This is one feeling that is, I think, more difficult to overcome than envy or jealousy.

What is guilt? According to dictionary.com, guilt is the fact of being responsible for the commission of an offense. But there is another definition of it somewhere down the page, and I like its meaning better. It says guilt is the feeling of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy: morbid self-reproach often manifest in marked preoccupation with the moral correctness of one's behavior.

By my interpretation of guilt, it seems that envy and jealousy are actually self-inflicted. But guilt is also self-inflicted, and it produces a bigger effect, including paranoia and (a great big ill-effect) loneliness, which might lead to desolation and even depression. Believe me, the conscience is not just the mere self-reflection you see in a popular commercial branding. It's a powerful entity that would lead you to believe that your greatest enemy is your own self.

So what does this mean? Well... I'm feeling rather guilty.


Top Ten Reasons Why I Feel Guilty (in no particular order)

• I'm guilty of not taking care of my mom well in these days when she's feeling a lot of pain. Instead of heading straight home, I go to other places and do other things and still wait for her to text me to come home since it's already late. There might be times that I go home early, but it's not always.
  

• I'm guilty of not going to classes regularly. I have my own reasons, but is lazyness justifiable? Is excessive Internet checking allowed? Is waking up late because of the former, followed by not getting a ride, a good excuse? Needless to say, I am almost always late. I only have four classes to attend to, and I think there was only one time that I arrived in class earlier than the professor. Talk about a soon-to-end college life.
  

• I'm guilty of lashing tough words on anyone I find fault in. And this is really hard to control. I'm really a courteous person, and it's a routine for me to say sorry. But is this utterance really meant? Or is it a mere dialogue for me to repeat over again, just like (some) Americans say "How are you today?" and not pay attention to what you answer?
  

• I'm guilty of not attending practices and not getting the feel of the people who I will sing with in Pasicatchan. Nadz, if you're reading this, I really feel awful. But I have to give you due credit for being patient with everyone, most especially with me. I will do my best during performance night, don't worry.
  

• I'm guilty of not working too much on our thesis. Chase, Luis, and Francis, if you're reading this, I know I have been such a slack in the group. I have to say that in the weeks to come, I hope that I can contribute, for the least, something significant in what we are finishing.
  

• I'm guilty of abusing my body. I'll leave that to your thinking.

• I'm guilty of not fully doing my duties as representative of my specialization. Just because of a decision I didn't want, I haven't exerted effort to oversee the production of our Huling Hirit.

• I'm guilty of not having enough time to do everything that I am feeling guilty of not doing. Yes, it's just man who invented time (thanks Pat) and I think our invention is haunting me and shouting behind my back to remind me to put it to good use. Mismanagement is, I think, my letdown.

• I'm guilty of asking favors from other people too much, and not actually helping them in the same manner, enthusiasm, and ability as they did for me. This actually is a very serious problem, and I don't want it to get worse.

• Lastly, I'm guilty of feeling guilt. I'm not a cold-hearted person who thinks so highly of himself. And with this reason, I believe this is the only guilt feeling that I'm happy for.

Christmas season surely does bring back good memories, but before thinking about merrymaking, why don't we look back and prepare for the coming of the Saviour in a meaningful way? Pause and reflect. I think it helps. Somehow.


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. Now I have to study for two exams. And it's partly because of me feeling guilty of neglecting studying.

Currently enjoying "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again", performed by Emmy Rossum.
Currently deciphering "Like Water For Chocolate", written by Laura Esquivel.
Currently checking "Pinoy Big Brother Up Late", shown on ABS-CBN.
Currently feeling guilty!.

5 kid/s drank Promil®

Musical Inclination

Posted by special_child at 10:30 AM on November 26, 2005 as a favorite post.

I'm not much like a Von Trapp family member, but I'm almost getting there.

Music has been part of my life since I was in my mother's womb. Back then I'd listen to the 70's and 80's music almost nonstop - even my mom had the nerve to dance a little with me jiggling inside her. And now, 20 years after I was discharged by the same body that kept me for 9 months, I still am musically inclined.

As a child, I'd listen to my uncle's loads upon loads of LP's and CD's. I think that he had a big influence in me appreciating music. Because of him I am fairly knowledgeable of music as far back as the 50's. Since he moved to the States, no one plays these that much anymore. He asked me to bring some of it when I visited him last May, but there are still a big load left here.

Even my mom, aunt, and grandparents are good singers themselves. And I think (this is my opinion, and it might not necessarily be true ) that I got my above average singing voice from them. I got a habit of singing songs with uber-high and prolonged notes when I was a kid, so for me to remember it now makes me feel frustrated. Well, change is inevitable. It's just the occasional coughs or colds that prevent me from tuning my soprano.

Music is also one of the good reasons why my almost-forever classmate Alvin and I clash together nicely. Back in elementary, we were already choir members. I can still recall the carols we do every Christmas, rounding all the rooms in the building. On our last two years of high school, we also joined the choir. He also headed our practices for our Carol Fest. And it's also partly because of him (and my uncle) that I wanted to learn playing the piano (I stopped as Grade 1 in my lessons when I was in fourth year high, and I don't know when to continue). Just remembering this makes me want to yank Alvin out of California and get him back here, where we could all sing together. Diba Pat?

Wait... what's the point in sharing this? Hmmm... (have you thought of the fact that this is my blog? ) I guess it comes to a point that I can say to myself that I wouldn't grow tired of singing or being adept to music. It's part of my life. And I can't live without it. Everyday my appreciation for it grows, and it never stops.

Two days ago, Livewire at Gox Lobby commenced. It was a collection of different CCS bands (and I think one band from CBE), coming together for a night of rockin'. And with Sir Bart singing again, I can say that CCS people are truly talented. It's nice to know that even though batches come and batches go, the music goes on at Gox.

Even yesterday, as we videoke-d the night away as part of my friend Jaja's birthday bash (Happy Birthday, Jaja! ), I can also see that Filipinos, in general, really love to sing. And after three days of singing and cheering people who/to sing, my voice is hoarse. Haha. But for all the fun, I think it's worth it. I just hope it comes back to normal as soon as possible.


Blogger's Note: The Top Ten list won't make its appearance today. Singing, perhaps?


So what I suggest, as I did yesterday, is for you to let go of your inhibitions! Start while you're taking a shower, and before you know it... uh, whatever. Just go and sing!


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. I also want to greet BA a very happy birthday! Now, I'm off to LASARET.

Currently enjoying "Sk8er Boi", performed by Avril Lavigne.
Currently deciphering other Tabulas entries.
Currently checking "Makuha Ka Sa Tikim", shown on ABS-CBN.
Currently feeling musical.

4 kid/s drank Promil®

LASARET

Posted by special_child at 12:58 AM on November 29, 2005 as a favorite post.

Despite every disastrous details, I have come to enjoy every moment of it.

LASARET is a non-academic course designed for graduating students for them to have a retreat. And since all of my original blockmates are taking it on the same term (this term), we decided to take one section for ourselves and go take it together.

I was actually looking forward to go to Tagaytay (our retreat was held in the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary Retreat House), I even woke up early at 7:30. I checked everything, posted an entry, prepared my things, and went. All of a sudden, when I was about to get my checklist which was in the green envelope, I realized... I forgot my green envelope! This actually took me time, leading to two reasons: one, I wasn't able to bring childhood pics; and two, I almost missed the bus.

So for that reason... for the nth time, I was late. I was interrogated in front of the bus and was made to sing (Anne has a picture in her Multiply site; Allan, thanks for the comment). And I thought my reputation of being late (for LASARET, at the very least) ended there. Sadly, it didn't. I was last to board the bus in our stopover (even if Francis was with me), last in line for confession (yes, I did confess), and was almost last in going to the scenic cemetery. Thanks to Joyce and Stef for following.

It's nice to point out that after a huge amount of time apart, the S14 bond is still unwavering. The pictures tell so. The conversations tell so. I think that this event brought us even closer, and it presented us a way to check up on each other and see how we have improved in three years.

LASARET was more than refreshing my relationship with the Lord. It was also a fun time to be with "the people I started college with" (I quote this from Jennie). And I'm asking the Lord for forgiveness if this hindered my participation from the activities. But it's fun to have gathered almost everyone in the retreat. It's a nice journey that we've had, and I hope that our gatherings (as a block, but more importantly as friends) wouldn't end here.

So I'd like to extend my gratitude to Rex, Chiara, Eric, BJ, Anne, Pao, Zeens, Allan, Arlene, Beegee, Chase, Francis, JR, Giselle, Bonna, RJ, Joyce, Baban, Bailey, James, Stef, Carlos, Nina and Jennie for being in this LASARET experience with me! And to the people we missed (Kiran, Nicole, Jan, Jeo, Mark, Luis, DF, Cohen, Paulo G, IO, Merriam, Kars, Vince, Joker, William, Paula, Enzo and Mito), you are always remembered through our conversations and prayers. I do hope you all can be available for another block partee!



Top Ten Things I Enjoyed in LASARET

10. pictures and poses
9. LASARET bingo 
8. the weather (soooo nice and cold)
7. the bus ride
6. late night halangan (care of RJ, Carlo and Chewy)
5. baby pictures
4. listening with the heart
3. solidarity meal (solid four: Anne, Nina, Allan and me!)
2. the scenic cemetery

-and... (drum roll please)-

1. the time capsule!


Pictures are worth a thousand words, so I'd just share them with you as soon as I (or rather, one of my friends) can upload them.


Marvin the Martian™, jaz thinking aloud


P.S. With all the people I saw and the data I interpolated, I think I need somebody to love.

Currently enjoying "Happiness", performed by Lea Salonga and Gerard Salonga.
Currently deciphering my best friend's e-mail.
Currently checking "The Correspondents", shown on ABS-CBN.
Currently feeling sleepy and busy.

5 kid/s drank Promil®